We've all been there...at the place where we have no clue which way to turn. We are at the point where we are standing at the top of the staircase and it's time to take the 1st step, but we can't see the stairs. What are we to do other than close our eyes and make that step of faith?
I just made an appointment for our 1st meeting to discuss adoption. Adoption is something Eric has always been open to, but me...Well, I'll just be honest, I want a child of my own! Sounds a bit selfish doesn't it? Yeah, I know, it sounds more than a bit selfish...it sounds really selfish! I'm the type of person that I want to spend whatever amount of money it takes to carry a child of my own. But I know my Husband is being rational when he says to me, "But adoption is so much more likely to happen than in-vitro working. Wouldn't you rather pay $15,000 towards adopting a child and knowing you are going to walk away with a child?" I know in my mind he is right, but my heart...my heart wants more. I want to feel my Baby's 1st moves, my Baby's 1st kicks, to see my Baby moving around as they perform the Ultrasounds. Okay, so now all of Blog world knows just how selfish Luci Jameson really is!
Anyways, back to the Adoption seminar. I just signed us up for our 1st ever seminar where we will openly go and talk about adopting a child. Part of me is scared, part of me is happy, part of me is sad. But I know in my heart, this is the avenue in which we must travel if we ever want to share our life with a precious child.
Pray for us...pray God sends us our Baby! :)
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
What? I'm blogging within a week of my last blog?
Yeah, the title pretty much says it all. :) I said I was going to try this, and try I shall!
Within the last 3 weeks, I have taken up running aka: jogging. (Let's face it; running sounds a bit more athletic.) :) At first, I couldn't jog from my porch to the road, and after a mile of a jog/walk combo I thought I may die. 3 weeks into it; I am jog/walking 3-5 miles daily with at least 1/2 of that distance at a jog/run. I'm not one to take pride in myself, but that my Friends makes me proud!
I haven't seen a difference on the scale which is a bit disappointing (you see, Fertility drugs causes your body to do some crazy things and weight gain is one of them.), but that isn't going to make me give up my new found love. Okay, so love may be too strong of word there...let's just go with new found LIKE!
In my last post I mentioned remodeling our kitchen. Over the weekend, we went and picked out a new cabinent stain color, new tile floor, new counter tops & new paint. Next on our list; a new stainless/black refrigerator & stove. Oh, and did I fail to mention that Eric & my Dad are determined to tear down the wall that seperates the kitchen from the living room? I have mixed emotions on this one, but I am sure the finished product will look wonderful!
Within the last 3 weeks, I have taken up running aka: jogging. (Let's face it; running sounds a bit more athletic.) :) At first, I couldn't jog from my porch to the road, and after a mile of a jog/walk combo I thought I may die. 3 weeks into it; I am jog/walking 3-5 miles daily with at least 1/2 of that distance at a jog/run. I'm not one to take pride in myself, but that my Friends makes me proud!
I haven't seen a difference on the scale which is a bit disappointing (you see, Fertility drugs causes your body to do some crazy things and weight gain is one of them.), but that isn't going to make me give up my new found love. Okay, so love may be too strong of word there...let's just go with new found LIKE!
In my last post I mentioned remodeling our kitchen. Over the weekend, we went and picked out a new cabinent stain color, new tile floor, new counter tops & new paint. Next on our list; a new stainless/black refrigerator & stove. Oh, and did I fail to mention that Eric & my Dad are determined to tear down the wall that seperates the kitchen from the living room? I have mixed emotions on this one, but I am sure the finished product will look wonderful!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Blogger...I'm not
Apparently blogging is all the craze right now. I "tried" to be a blogger a few years ago. I set out to blog about my life if not daily, then weekly, and if not weekly then *at least* monthly. In looking at the 4-5 blogs I've posted since 2008 one would either think I lived a VERY dull life or I'm just not that great of a blogger.
Lots have been going on in our life since my last blog. I've left Humana & went back into the golf business. We have cut down our orchard (with the exception of 1 apple tree & the *delicious* pear apple tree) because let's face it; I'm not Susie Homemaker and I don't freeze, can or make anything with the fruit that we were growing. We added Princess Coco (a black & white border collie) to our family because we are coo coo for Coco Pups. *Corny joke my Hubs likes to tell. :) We are getting ready to do extreme home makeover on our kitchen. (Not a process I am excited about, but it is *MUCH* needed!) And we are desperately wanting a child.
Wanting children was not something I was wanting to blog about, but it has consumed our life over the last 2.5 years so it seems it is blog worthy. We were at first diagnosed with "unexpained infertility" then my Dr. found massive amounts of "Endometreosis" which is what my diagnosis is at this time. We've tried everything in the book to have a child, but it just doesn't seem to be in God's timing for our lives just yet.
God's timing is something I have dealt with through this whole infertility ordeal. I am used to life as we know it, you want something bad enough you get it, with no expenses spared. Am I right? Surely I am not the only person who does whatever they have to do to get what they want??
When I struggle with God's timing, I often find myself asking him question after question. I constantly find myself saying things like, "I don’t understand, God. I have prayed and prayed, and nothing has changed. I believe my prayers are within the scope of Your will . . . I’m not asking for anything amiss. What’s wrong, God?"
Then I think of Zacharias and Elizabeth, the father and mother of John the Baptist and how they prayed for a child. They didn’t have John until very late in life. In fact, they had reached the age at which having children was highly improbable, if not impossible: “I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years” (Luke 1: 18). Then, one day, while Zacharias was in the Temple, the angel Gabriel came to him and said, “Zacharias, your prayer has been heard.”
Do you suppose Zacharias had been praying recently for a child? Do you think he was still entreating the Lord for a son? Maybe just yesterday in his prayers he had said, “O, Lord! Elizabeth and I are so very lonely. How we yearn to have a child. Please, Lord, bless our union and send us a baby. . . .”
I don’t think so. I really don’t think he had prayed that way for a long, long time. He had given up all hope that he would ever hear the pitter patter of little feet around the house, for he was an “old man” and his wife was “advanced in years.”
I imagine Zacharias saying, “Uh . . . what prayer is it that you have reference to, Gabriel?”
“The one you prayed years ago, Zacharias. Remember? You asked God for a son. You see, the fullness of time has now come, and the Lord is going to give you the desire of your heart — a son, Zacharias, a son!”
* * *
In the fullness of time. When is that, Lord? I don’t really have any way of knowing, do I? Zacharias and Elizabeth had some lonely years . . . until the fullness of time when everything was ready . . . and then You fulfilled their prayer.
God has an “appointed time” when every minute detail will be finished for you and for me. When that times comes, the prayer will be answered.
***
I recently saw this poem and thought it was fitting to include it in this blog...
It may not be tomorrow, and yet it may
Lots have been going on in our life since my last blog. I've left Humana & went back into the golf business. We have cut down our orchard (with the exception of 1 apple tree & the *delicious* pear apple tree) because let's face it; I'm not Susie Homemaker and I don't freeze, can or make anything with the fruit that we were growing. We added Princess Coco (a black & white border collie) to our family because we are coo coo for Coco Pups. *Corny joke my Hubs likes to tell. :) We are getting ready to do extreme home makeover on our kitchen. (Not a process I am excited about, but it is *MUCH* needed!) And we are desperately wanting a child.
Wanting children was not something I was wanting to blog about, but it has consumed our life over the last 2.5 years so it seems it is blog worthy. We were at first diagnosed with "unexpained infertility" then my Dr. found massive amounts of "Endometreosis" which is what my diagnosis is at this time. We've tried everything in the book to have a child, but it just doesn't seem to be in God's timing for our lives just yet.
God's timing is something I have dealt with through this whole infertility ordeal. I am used to life as we know it, you want something bad enough you get it, with no expenses spared. Am I right? Surely I am not the only person who does whatever they have to do to get what they want??
When I struggle with God's timing, I often find myself asking him question after question. I constantly find myself saying things like, "I don’t understand, God. I have prayed and prayed, and nothing has changed. I believe my prayers are within the scope of Your will . . . I’m not asking for anything amiss. What’s wrong, God?"
Then I think of Zacharias and Elizabeth, the father and mother of John the Baptist and how they prayed for a child. They didn’t have John until very late in life. In fact, they had reached the age at which having children was highly improbable, if not impossible: “I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years” (Luke 1: 18). Then, one day, while Zacharias was in the Temple, the angel Gabriel came to him and said, “Zacharias, your prayer has been heard.”
Do you suppose Zacharias had been praying recently for a child? Do you think he was still entreating the Lord for a son? Maybe just yesterday in his prayers he had said, “O, Lord! Elizabeth and I are so very lonely. How we yearn to have a child. Please, Lord, bless our union and send us a baby. . . .”
I don’t think so. I really don’t think he had prayed that way for a long, long time. He had given up all hope that he would ever hear the pitter patter of little feet around the house, for he was an “old man” and his wife was “advanced in years.”
I imagine Zacharias saying, “Uh . . . what prayer is it that you have reference to, Gabriel?”
“The one you prayed years ago, Zacharias. Remember? You asked God for a son. You see, the fullness of time has now come, and the Lord is going to give you the desire of your heart — a son, Zacharias, a son!”
* * *
In the fullness of time. When is that, Lord? I don’t really have any way of knowing, do I? Zacharias and Elizabeth had some lonely years . . . until the fullness of time when everything was ready . . . and then You fulfilled their prayer.
God has an “appointed time” when every minute detail will be finished for you and for me. When that times comes, the prayer will be answered.
***
I recently saw this poem and thought it was fitting to include it in this blog...
It may not be tomorrow, and yet it may
It will happen on Gods set day.
The burden will be lifted, The lost one will be won
The trial will be over, The long task will be done.
We cannot know the hour, but we will trust Him as we wait,f
or He knows just what must come to pass, He will not be a moment late!
So praise Him in the trial, give thanks for the task
rejoice and be obedient, He knows what you have asked.
It may not be tomorrow, and yet it may
It will happen on God’s set day.
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